worrying.

it’s the worst habit to have. having been an anxious person for as long as i can remember i know it all too well. although it’s very subconsciously addictive it serves no purpose. it won’t change the outcome of anything and just makes us think the worst. i had such an intense habit of going over multiple possible scenarios and imagining the worst case. although these days i don’t worry as much. maybe it’s because i don’t do enough things to stimulate anxious feelings. i’m very comfortable with my life right now so it’s nice that’s been reduced. but a little trick i’ve learned is to just ask yourself whenever you catch yourself starting to worry- if it will matter in a year, 6 months, even one month. if it doesn’t, then it’s more than okay right now. all things pass and everything happens for a reason sometimes it’s hard to keep faith in that but it’s true. the body can get addicted to worrying because it mistakes the feeling for excitement. this is useful to know as it shows that it’s not really a valid feeling. i mean it has no use and doesn’t benefit anyone. of course it’s important to be a little bit anxious sometimes as it’s a natural feeling and can be useful in times of danger. however, abusing it is not good for the soul.

take care of yourself and try to worry less. there’s meditation apps which can help. talk to a friend or take up a hobby to try and distract you from your anxieties. and you can always talk to me, i’m an expert.
– laur.x

life’s too short.

it’s way too short. statistically, i’m a quarter of the way into my life right now and that’s terrifying. that’s like doing it all again 4 times and okay i’m scared now. the more you focus on the prospect that death can come at any time, and if you’re grateful for what you have in your life, you will live more freely and fulfill it better.

here’s a few things life is too short for:

  • worrying about things you can’t change
  • arguing with people you love
  • saving endless amounts of money with no intention
  • dwelling on past mistakes and ruminating guiltiness
  • holding grudges
  • not being honest about how you feel about someone
  • not taking those classes you want to take
  • rudeness and insincerity
  • failing to travel as advanced and expansively as possible
  • self-loathing; not forgiving yourself
  • bitchiness and pettiness
  • staying in a long-term career that makes you miserable
  • NOT GOING AFTER WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE
  • NOT DOING WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
  • NOT DOING ONLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
  • owing anyone an explanation for any decisions you make
  • being a bitter person
  • trying to be somebody else
  • loneliness, or leaving yourself out
  • not being honest
  • being jealous of others and not grateful for your own accomplishments
  • comparing yourself to others; measuring your successes and possessions against those of other people
  • not voicing your opinion; standing up for what you believe in
  • regretting
  • not striving to make a change in this world
  • dwelling on the what ifs and the could have beens
  • nit picking
  • allowing yourself to become unhealthy
  • not wishing to help others
  • living for someone else
  • not taking mental health issues seriously
  • pessimism and a lack of gratefulness
  • repeating the same routine again until it becomes boring
  • staying in the same place for too long
  • let’s not do these things and live fully together

let’s not do these things and live fully together. after all, you can’t change your soul. personality and appearance can only be changed to a degree. it’s important to be your true authentic self. fill your everydays with little things that make you happy and take pride in the world you create. be grateful for every little thing and never stop dreaming. laur. XOXO.

toxic friends.

i can’t stress how important it is to read this post. you must respect yourself more than to keep toxic people in your circle. in my opinion, it’s easy to spot a toxic friend. they’re negative and pessimistic and only focus on their own problems; they dwell on the past instead of moving forward. they only need you when they wish to moan. they drag you down and disregard your goals instead of lifting you up like friends should. they’re just overall draining and when you’re in their company too long you can’t help but feel miserable. which also dulls your sparkle and makes you feel closed-minded at times. they are not supportive of your goals at all and always try to one up you like your lives are some sort of competition worth something. they essentially allow you to stay in the same place instead of moving forwards. and this is incredibly toxic to your growth and dreams and everything you deserve.

cut these people out of your life! it may be tricky but you will be so much better off in the long run. they need you more than you need them, and they’re not true friends so, why waste your energy on something so fake?

also, losing some friends doesn’t always result in a loss. for example my account.

my story of ex friendships.

you will learn the hard way that you cannot lean on anybody else. you can only rely on yourself. anyone can betray you. my best friend of many years one day decided to cut me out of her life because she felt like it. she realised she could not support me through tough times and actions showed to not be a true representation of a friend at all and in fact extremely rude and immature, and i’m better off with better friends. she were so impertinent and inconsiderate to the point that if she contacted me again i wouldn’t be phased or even reply. that’s how uninterested i am in such a low moralled person. she also mistreated me in the past, for which i previously wrote this in my notes to keep me strong minded and focused:

side note- she wasn’t toxic. she just proved to not be as good a friend as i first thought.

just to get my thoughts out. life lesson: always lean solely on yourself, because you can’t rely completely on anybody else. look out for yourself because even the apparent truest of friends can show their true colours for the worst.

someone i admired, was always there for and thought the world of has completely let me down. and even though i thought we had an irreplaceable bond, proven how little our friendship is valued and demonstrated a severe lack of respect. i feel completely betrayed that someone who claimed to have my back and i gave so much time to for so many years, is basically invalidating my hardships and essentially blaming me and punishing me for breaking down and not being my normal self for a few tiny months, which is actually a blip in my entire lifetime. doesn’t sound like any kind of friend at all really.

reaction: definitely not my issue, or for me to feel down about when everything i’ve argued back has been relevant and rhetorical. i’m not going to let this tear me down or make me fall apart in any way. i’ve been the happiest and healthiest i’ve been in such a long time and nothing is going to ruin that.

remember guys if anyone makes you feel down, invalid, pessimistic or doubtful, get those scissors and cut a bitch out because you will be so thankful to yourself that you did that for you and your own self-worth. life is way too short to be hanging around with petty people willingly, and adventure is all about making everlasting memories with good friends. so go do just that. and you’ve always got a friend in me.

if you need any advice pls don’t hesitate to ask me. i don’t bite and i’ve had twenty years of life experience. love uuuuuu. ❀